Tuesday, June 30, 2009

What the ???! (with an update)

I have a routine appt later today with my OB/GYN to get a pap smear and breast exam to help get everything in order for the one-day workup in Colorado, which is scheduled for next Tuesday.

My period was due yesterday...and it failed to make an appearance. I had lots of anxious thoughts about what if it comes too late and then I'm not on the right cycle day for the one-day Colo testing...and what if things get pushed back and then the dates don't line up right to cycle out there before I start my fellowship in Sept...what if... what if... what if...

Just on some weird lark, I took a pregnancy test this morning. Those of you who've been reading a while know that my husband Will bought practically a crate of HPT kits during IVF #4.

So...um...I just don't know what to make of this.



Do you see a second line too? Or am I completely losing it?

Thoughts? Reactions? Surely it's just another faux pregnancy? Could we actually have something living inside me? Unless I'm psychotic, these tests appear to be positive....and I'm...um...PREGNANT?!....for the fifth time in two years. Third time naturally. Gack! Don't know WHAT to think or feel! Some kind of combo of happy and completely bewildered, mixed with massive amounts of caution and disbelief.

Blogworld, I know I've been rather absent of late, off in a corner licking my wounds after the latest loss. But please comment!!! I need to know that you're out there! I'm just overwhelmed and wondering if I've finally lost my mind and am hallucinating the second line...

Mo

p.s. call into RE to find out what my final beta level was...I know they were following it down after the chemical...please don't let this be a remnant of the previous loss!!! Could it go all the way down to less than five and then shoot back up again?

****Updated to add******
Talked to RE's office. My beta on May 27 was 17.4. On June 3rd it was less than 5. Assistant didn't know if that means it could have been zero or somewhere between 5 and zero...Enquiring (neurotic) minds want to know!

Beta, estrogen, and progesterone, have been drawn....waiting....waiting....waiting...

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60 comments:

Anonymous said...

OK, so I know you don't know me, but I've been following your story. I'm an IVF vet, too. Anyway, I wanted to share part of my story with you.

I did a cycle in February this year. My beta result was 4 so I stopped all meds, got a period, then started a new round of BCPs on CD3.

All was well, started my Lupron, started my next period and went in for my baseline u/s and b/w. All was quiet with my u/s so they did my b/w and I was out the door.

My clinic always tests hcg along w/ e2 and p4 for baselines. Anyway, that afternoon I started having horrible pains and had a hard time walking. My nurse called me around 3 and said that my hcg was 3300 and to hang up and call 911. I ended up having a ruptured tube from an ectopic pregnancy April 9th that was undiagnosed from my cycle the end of February.

I did not know that was even a possibility. I had one full period and started another. I had been on BCPs. Apparently the 4 that came back on the beta test continued to rise. My clinic considers anything under a 5 a negative so they did not retest.

I'm not trying to scare you. I just wanted you to know that it can happen.

I hope to goodness that you are experiencing one of those wonderful surprise miracles that we all dream of and hear about.

Cam

Gabby said...

Thinking of you!!! Keep us updated. Very exciting news.

Sprogblogger said...

Um, that's totally a line.

I'm holding out all kinds of hope over here. Let's have this one be a keeper, eh?

Please go get an hCG test! Please post as soon as you know what's going on!

EJW said...

That's a line and it's way more than a the barely-squinty-probably imaginary line you'd get with a beta of 5.

Since you're going, have them draw a beta and maybe do a quick wanding to see what's going on.

Keep us posted!

JJ said...

Woah! That's some line. Let us know what happens next with your hcg and whether you get an ultrasound in as well. I'm really hoping this is a new line and a new life.

Bella said...

OMG OMG OMG!!!!! I highly doubt your beta would have shot back up after being down to a 5, but I'm no expert. I am hoping and praying this is the real, sticky deal!!! OMG, I'm so excited. PLease get a beta and update us ASAP! :) :) :)

Gabby said...

wow.. this is weird.

its DEFINITELY a line..

as far as what it means, I don't know..can you go to the RE right now?? like seriously, before i go to work this morning, because i really can't wait to find out what is going on with you..

i am worried and hopeful at the same time. more hopeful than worried though.. you are clearly producing HCG, and that means you are pregnant. And the level required for the first one is 50.

I have never heard of levels that shoot back up.. you need to find out if you were down to zero.

so, i assume you did the BD this month around your ovulation.. wow, this is great news. can't wait to find out.

good friend of mine just had her baby, she got pregnant while waiting for her CCRM workup. maybe there is some sort of thing there. we shall all book appointments and screw up their calendar when we all cancel!

B. said...

Another hope-junkie here. That's definitely a second line. I hope it's everything we all dream about. It's about damn time! Keep us posted. We're all rooting for you!

Paul said...

I have nothing constructive to add to help you make sense of this development. I just wanted to pass along my best wishes and hope that this has a successful and happy outcome for you both. You deserve it!

Nikki said...

Wow - that is definitely a line! I don't have any advice - but just wanted to send you tonnes of good luck! Keep us updated.

glamcookie said...

Definitely 2 lines! Hoping so hard that this is it for you!

WiseGuy said...

That sure looks like a line...And I sure hope it is not here as a last bastion of the previous cycle...

...hope.

poppy.f.seed said...

wow, crazy! If your beta was 36 a month ago, I don't think it can be leftover.
I am hoping you'll be one of those stories, those crazy "it happens".Good luck!!!

Leah said...

Definitely get a beta! Stranger things have happened! I'm a testament to that! I just had to laugh when I saw this post because I know "less than 5" would NOT show up on a pregnancy test. Can't wait to see the outcome!!!

Kate said...

Those are totally second lines, and no way are they "leftover" from last cycle. Have you got any clue when you might have ovulated?
Wishing you the best for your betas and your upcoming ultrasound! (I'm convinced you're going to need one!)

Infertile In the City said...

omg - did you go and have a beta test - for the love of god give us a number!
That is SOOO a line, and I so so so hope that you are going to follow Chicklets trend of awful IVF cycle followed by big ol knockedupness.
do not worry about wicking those lines, we have ALL been there.

Alyssa said...

YAY! that's two lines!!!! TWO LINES!!!!!!!!!! Post what your beta is! I'm cheering for you!

Brenna said...

That's a real line alright!!! Wow. Fill us in as soon as you know more!

bb said...

WOW WOW wowwwwww!!!! That is so awesome and certainly TWO LINES. I can't wait to see what your beta is!! fingers crossed for you

The Blatchford Family said...

Definitely positive pg tests!! That really isn't likely to be remains from the old pregnancy. Unless it was a molar pregnancy, your HCG levels should have continued to go down.

SO...CONGRATS ON THE NEW PREGNANCY!! I really hope that this suprise baby is your sticky little miracle!

Please keep us posted!!

chill said...

I am currently in the midst of something similar. My second Beta went down from 31.5 to 16.8 on June 5. They didn't do any additional Betas after the 16.8. I was spotting but never really started bleeding, so I took a test on June 14 and it was positive. Beta next day was 294 and has climbed since. Not really sure what is going on with me (most likely a blighted ovum), but it sounds like this may be the real deal with you as you had a period (which I didn't) and the timing makes sense for you to have conceived on your own. Fingers crossed!

mekate said...

HOLY SHIT MO!
that is most definitely a line.
and
below 5 means chemically non-pregnant-- they are usually not more specific at the lab itself.
For sanity (HA) I'd go in for bloodwork and a U/S as soon as they let you and
Holy crap that just might be the coolest thing ever. HOPEFUL
kate

Bean said...

WOW! All I have to say is that I'm crossing all my fingers and toes and hoping for the best for you and Will. :)

iamstacey said...

I see a line, too! Can't wait to see what your bloodwork comes back at! Keep us posted!

Michelle said...

WOW I am hoping, praying, got ever thing crossed that this is IT. That this is what you have been waiting for. I wish I could answer your questions. I know you will keep us all posted.

OH PLEASE PLEASE LET IT BE!!!

Melissa Griffin said...

OMG - there is so a 2nd line there...mine was lighter than that....CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
Let us know what happens!

Flakymn said...

Your 5 could not go back up.

Those are definitely two lines which means you definitely are pg.

Whether that is a pregnancy that will 'stick' of course no one can say -- but I think I would celebrate!

Alexa said...

Oh! Oh! Oh! I am so shocked and delighted for you!

And I wouldn't worry about it being leftover hcg--betas CAN fall and rise again in ectopics, but not all the way to below five and then up again, ESPECIALLY in the absence of bleeding. Usually the falling and rising is from, say, 400 to 200 and back to 300. The first poster's story was an entirely different situation with a low starting beta, but I would bet that between her initial 4 and eventual 3300, her hcg was never again less than 5, if that makes sense.

I am hoping and hoping for you!

Bisous said...

Only the super early tests could see a 5 - these pee-stick tests usually only come positive with >25, and those are positive. I'm sure you know that. Good luck!

Cheryl said...

Goodluck guys! I hope this is the "one"!

michele said...

Just wanted to send my super duper happy pregnancy vibes along to you. Finger and toes crossed....will be waiting for an update!

IF Optimist, then... said...

That is most definitely two lines. Wooo-freaking-hooo. When my beta was 18, the test didn't show positive, so this is for sure the real thing. Hoping for some good news and numbers from betas.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

Can I swear here?

Unbelievable. Good luck.

Mary said...

Keep us posted!!

Erin said...

I am SO happy for you both, and will be thinking sticky baby thoughts for you. Keep us posted!

Rachie Pachie said...

Umm, wow!!! That's freaking awesome... can't wait to hear what your RE says! :)

Best wishes!!!!!!

Kahla said...

I agree, below 5 is not pregnant, that is not leftover from IVF. I just got goosebumps. Will the RE let you come in for a BETA????

Anonymous said...

Am crossing everything I can cross...sending best wishes and hoping THIS IS IT!

Mindy

Dora said...

OMFG!!!! MO!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'd jump up and down, but it would hurt my feet too much!!! Crossing everything I can cross. (A friend told me she was crossing her tits for me for my last cycle. Since mine are so huge now, I'll give it a try for you.)

Oh, please, Universe, Powers That Be, Flying Spaghetti Monster, let this be Mo and Will's baby! They'll be such wonderful parents.

Anonymous said...

I hope it is good news!

Looking forward to hear from you soon!

'Murgdan' said...

Wow. Just wow.

...waiting for your beta with my fingers crossed.

Erica said...

Definitely seeing the line! I'll be waiting anxiously to hear the beta results. Sending you a hug as you wait.

Emily said...

Holy Moly!! Those are lines, my dear. Hoping, praying, crossing everything that this is finally your miracle!

kirke said...

Waiting for the beta with my fingers crossed!!

dryan said...

Oh please, please, please let those two lines mean what they are supposed to mean!!!! That would be such awesome news! Post your blood work results as soon as you have them back.

Tons of positive baby vibes coming your way!!

myndful said...

Definitely keeping my fingers crossed for you!!

Barefoot said...

OMG -- totally keeping fingers and toes crossed for you. That is totally a line.

Ali said...

Sending wonderful thoughts your way!!!

Sassymama said...

Absolutely, definitely a gosh-darn-real line you got there, Mo!

Pulling thumbs, crossing fingers, etc... while waiting for an update:)

loribeth said...

Definitely a line there! Waiting & hoping for a good beta for you!

meinsideout said...

Holy crap, that is freaking incredible. Keeping it all crossed for you and please update with beta!

nepsi said...

OMG! I hope this is the one. You've been on quite the rollercoaster ride. I can't wait to see your update with numbers.

birdsandsquirrels said...

Oh my god! I am keeping my fingers crossed and sending all the good positive thoughts I can conjure up your way. I will be checking back obsessively waiting for beta news! It's really way past time for something good to happen for you guys.

hil said...

Holding my breath and hoping huge things for you guys!

squarepeg said...

WOW. Just... WOW! I really hope this is it for you!!

A said...

DEFINATELY a line!!!!

Caroline said...

That is most definitely a line!

Echloe said...

Yes it is a line. Ummmm, please hurry and get a beta.

nancy said...

holy fucking moly. That's a new pregancy. If it had been 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 - those lines are from more than that.

STICKY VIBES!!!

Anonymous said...

Here's hoping!!

- Molly
http://roots-andwings.blogspot.com/

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