Friday, September 4, 2015

FET #3: 7dp5dt Beta HCG results

I finally heard from both the Denver clinic and the NYC clinic. They both called at basically the exact same time.

Beta HCG = 22.3

Nurse was happy with this number, given that beta isn't due until Sunday. The Denver clinic wants you at 50 on beta day, so hopefully we'll be close if not there by then.

Estrogen was good at 1217.

Progesterone came in at 10.1, which is low. The Denver clinic's current protocol is endometrin suppositories 3x/day plus 1 cc of PIO every other day. Due to this low number, I now get to graduate to daily PIO plus the suppositories. This embryo will not lack for progesterone.

In terms of symptoms today, I didn't have the uterine "pulling" that I've been looking for, but I did have a very specific kind of cramping that I've only had when pregnant that's different than menstrual cramping. So that was reassuring and hope-inducing.

So I am tentatively hopeful. I would have MUCH preferred a higher number than 22.3, but that's in the ballpark of where we need to be at this stage of the game, so I'll take it.

Just hoping, hoping, hoping this blastocyst can strongly take hold and keep growing (I'm assuming it's only 1, based on the low number).

Universe, are you listening? I know I'm being greedy, but please?

Pregnancy #9, here we come!


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FET #3 7dp5dt: Edited

If you were looking for clarity, I recommend you look elsewhere.

Things here remain decidedly uncertain. Sigh.

The tests are positive.

A little bit.


These lines don't look anything like Magpie's lines did at 7dp5dt, when the beta came back at 69.  Today's Icon test looks slightly darker to me than yesterday's, so that's something.

Slighly confounding things, I desperately had to pee at 2AM. I managed to hold it until 3:15AM and then caved. So this isn't exactly first morning urine, and it's not 24 hours from the last test either. But it wouldn't have made that much of a difference, I don't think.

I keep reminding myself that the Denver clinic is happy with a beta hcg of 50 on 9dp5dt (Magpie's was 155 on that day, which was great, but not necessary according to them). To achieve a beta hcg of 50 by Sunday, I would need to be somewhere around 25ish today.

That's not out of the question. These lines could represent numbers like that. But it's iffy.

You guys really buoyed me up yesterday. To be honest, when I posted, I was leaning toward considering yesterday's "line" an evaporation line, and this whole cycle a complete bust, but you convinced me over the course of the day that the line was really there. I came home last night and looked at it again, and you were right. It was a real line.

So are today's lines. But they are certainly nothing to get too excited about.

I spotted through the rest of yesterday on and off. Very light but definite. And I emailed with my Denver nurse who said I could check progesterone and estrogen levels today if it would help me get through the long holiday weekend.

So I am going to try to do that this morning, and while I'm there, see if I can throw in a beta hcg too.

I'm ready to move us from the qualitative to the quantitative. Get a number on the board, low as it might be.

Mild cramping going on right now, breasts very sore. There's something going on in there, digging in or dying off. Hard to say which.

Will has to work 12 hour shifts today, tomorrow, Sunday, and Monday, leaving Magpie and me to our own devices. I've been trying to line up activities and playdates and distractions to get us through. This upcoming long weekend feels particularly long. And not being able to lift Magpie (post-transfer restrictions from Denver) is tricky business with no Will around. I'll let her co-sleep with me this weekend since I can't lift her into her crib. I think she and I will both enjoy that. Her adorable little hands and body hugging against me may be just what I need to make it through the next four nights.

Here are pics of all four pee sticks from yesterday and today. Let me know what you think. *I* think I am single-handedly keeping the HPT economy afloat!

And thanks, thanks so much, for so many of you delurking yesterday to give your two cents on our situation.


***Edited to add: I was able to get blood drawn this morning for progesterone, estrogen, AND beta HCG. Results are due anytime between now and 5. I'll post as soon as I hear anything!

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Thursday, September 3, 2015

FET #3: 6dp5dt: First HPT and WTF?! Edited

So I woke up before dawn and tested this morning, and got a stark white on the hospital HPT, which has a sensitivity level of HCG = 25. I'd also bought some FRERs and tested with one of those, and it looked negative to me too. I thought I saw maybe the ghost of a second line. But other times I couldn't see it. 

Magpie woke up in the middle of the night and told Will, "I feel lonely." (oh!) So he brought her into our bed. It was nice to have her nestled against me, her little fingers resting on my arm, especially after my testing around 4:30AM.

Here are the tests below for you to see. If I tilt my monitor at an angle I can see a whiff of a second line on the FRER. Maybe. If I squint a little. 

But I'm not feeling very hopeful about this. I'm thinking this is going to be a bust and am really sad.

I don't know, folks. It doesn't look good to me. What do you think?



PS - in terms of symptoms: no cramping now, some unsettled stomach, breasts are sore. Spirits are low.

*****EDITED TO ADD: It's around noon now, and just went to bathroom and am spotting pink. Which is either a very hopeful sign of implantation (I spotted on this day with Magpie's pregnancy) or the beginning of the doomed end. I just did a PIO shot this morning, so I'm hoping it's a good sign? But who knows.

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Wednesday, September 2, 2015

5dp5dt: FET #3

Thank you for all of your thoughts about testing ahead, and if so, when.

I thought strongly about testing this morning. Then I chickened out.

Even with Magpie's pregnancy, which had a really strong beta of 155 at 14dpo, I couldn't really make out a positive on this day. And if I *were* pregnant, the beta could be fine and be as low as 50 on 14dpo, so would definitely not show today. I decided not to risk false devastation. I can be really sad later if there's something to be sad about, you know?

But I think I will test tomorrow. Probably. Not sure. My testing kits say that 83% of women who are pregnant will test positive by tomorrow, and 93% by the day following that... so that seems more reasonable to try.

If I had to call it, I'd still guess that this cycle hasn't worked. I'm not convinced it hasn't worked, but that's my leaning if I had to guess.

I'm having dull cramping, feel slighty nauseated, have a sense of uterine fullness and heaviness, and am fairly short of breath. Whether those are good signs or just signs of estrogen and progesterone, I don't know.

I'm not feeling any "pulling" sensations, which I have felt in the past sometimes, and which has always been a physical manifestation of implantation. I haven't had it every pregnancy, though, so I'm not sure it's absence is a sign of doom per se, but I would be much more reassured if I felt it. It's a very unique internal tugging, digging in sensation, that I've never felt at any other time except during positive two week waits. Oh well. I've told myself that maybe that digging in occurred while I was sleeping, and so I missed it. Maybe. Who knows.

With Magpie's pregnancy, I also had a lot of side-pain, which was probably the development of the corpus luteum. Not having that this time either, but do have the dull cramping feeling.

So not the most reassuring, but it's not like I'm feeling nothing.

Only time will tell.

If I can just get through the next few days, we'll know one way or the other.



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Tuesday, September 1, 2015

When to test with HPTs?

So here we are on 4dp5dt....

I looked through my HPT stash and have six tests in my possession, so I've been trying to figure out how to dole them out to myself.

Today is only 4dp5dt - that seems too early to test, especially for someone with a limited HPT stash.

I tested positive with Magpie on 6dp5dt, so perhaps I'll try testing then? On the other hand, I know how horrible it is to keep seeing the dreaded white space where a second line is supposed to be. The fear of seeing that makes me want to wait to test.

What do you guys think? When should I start to test?

I know some of you will say to wait until the beta...which would be Sunday...but my silly local clinic doesn't test betas on the weekend. Bah!

So I might not get an official beta until the Tuesday after Labor Day, because of the holiday weekend. I don't know that I can wait that long.

I welcome all wisdom. I'm going a bit batty over here.


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