1. I am grateful that my family and Will's family (most of the key players at least) are not adding any suffering to the pain we are already in with infertility. I know my mother would dearly love a grandchild, and I suspect some other family members think we are crazy for our determination to have a child, even after repeated obstacles. But no one is passing judgment outwardly. Instead, they are supportive and hopeful for us. We are so appreciative.
2. Weird as it may sound, I am grateful that I cannot test this cycle ahead of the beta. It forces me to remain more in the moment, which is a good thing. I know I wouldn't be able to resist the urge over the next few days if it wasn't for the HCG booster making it pointless - I feel the urge to test as it is and then have to remind myself that I won't find any information out that way. I have to just remember, the buns are in the oven so to speak. Whatever is happening or not is underway. It is very rare for me, but I surrender myself to the process.
3. Knock wood, but I am feeling pretty well this cycle. A little nauseated the past few days, breasts a little sore, but physically ok and mentally pretty good. Particularly during this time of intense dissertation stress, I am so grateful to feel centered and calm. At the moment, I feel that whatever the outcome turns out to be, we will find a way to be ok.