Tuesday, May 15, 2012

In no particular order



  1. I had a dream that I was a human marsupial. I was able to look down in my pouch and see my baby, and just carry it around that way. I wouldn't mind this, if in fact it could be a possibility.
  2. According to one of my pregnancy e-newsletters, baby is now the size of my open hand. Really? That seems really big! How did that ever happen?
  3. I vomited Sunday evening. Yeowch. I thought the nausea and fatigue would be gone by now, but they really are not, at least not entirely. I feel fine and then suddenly I do not. And my gag reflex? Out of this world. It's only the second puke of this pregnancy, so nothing to complain about really, but it was surprising in its sudden-ness and in its force.
  4. Someone gave me a seat on the NYC subway. Because I'm pregnant. And because (gulp) I look it. OMG. I just stare at myself a bit in wonder - what is happening to my body? It seems so much larger. Also all of the sudden. Will assures me I'm not overly huge (thanks, Will!) but I feel big. I am out now at work (no big announcement, but have told key people this week and am no longer hiding it).
  5. Despite being fairly pregnant-looking, I feel like a fraud. It still seems like something to hide (before something terrible happens), or like I'm merely pretending to be pregnant. Am I? It's been a long time since my last period, but you never know. 
Mo


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31 comments:

juliane2004 said...

Eeek!! Photo of belly?!

mekate said...

Oh my, I still feel like a faker. I so get that. REVEL in the belly Mo, I loved loving my belly for the first (and so far only) time in my life.

Open hand, what a beautiful image.
with such love,
Kate

Jen said...

OK Mo...if the belly is out and people can clearly see it, I think it's time for a belly pic!

Marcia (123 blog) said...

I love that you're out of the closet.

I have a theory - once you make some announcements, the belly thinks, "oh thank goodness. Now we can let it all out" and you expand exponentially.

Look on my blog for 18 week pics (around April 2009) and you'll see - I literally went to work in the shirt, buttoned up and after lunch, it couldn't close AT all :)

Barefoot said...

So excited for you that you are having all of these (admittedly surreal) experiences. For me, I felt like a big fraud until I started feeling movement.

That's awesome that you got a seat on the subway. In NY!

It Is What It Is said...

I agree with others about the belly shot and do hope you will oblige. We don't even need to see your head/face and you can keep your shirt on (my demands are so benign, right?).

I can't wait for the post in which you reveal you felt movement for the first time. Can.not.wait!

Jill and Rich said...

When I was pregnant, I has that same baby-in-a-pouch dream. Mine was more like a drawstring sac. Haha!

Heidi said...

Yeah for being big enough that you HAVE to be "out." Everything you wrote--about your sense of being a fraud, about the adjustment to an unfamiliar body, about the dreams--resonated. I find the way that we dream about potential babies absolutely fascinating; at least for me, I could chart through my dreams the way my mind was wrapping itself around the idea of a baby. At first, I was giving birth to animals and, later, a tiny doll-sized baby that talked like an intelligent 10-year-old. Only at the end was there anything remotely realistic about my dream babies. My mother, with her first child, repeatedly dreamed of giving birth to a litter of puppies.

Anonymous said...

wow, mo... its getting real.

i bet you look beautiful! i wish you could post a picture, but your blog does not seem to get that personal. my niece (omg, *i* just had a baby...) is the same gestation as you are, so i will have to take a look at her and think of you.

next step... quickening. yowza!

I Believe in Miracles said...

SO exciting. I totally think a belly shot is in order. Bring it on.

I threw up 13 times the first 13 weeks of pregnancy, but then continued to throw up off and all all the way through the 2nd trimester and then worse nausea kicked in at the end when there was no room in my belly. I bring up this point - because I was grateful another friend told me about 3rd trimester yuckiness and it's normal - not to discourage you. Hopefully it will just go away for you!

BTW - this is SO exciting. I'm so thrilled for you. I can't say how much. YEAH!!! And now you're showing. Sigh. It's awesome.

ivftraveler said...

I was at our local aquarium and they had some sort of shark I think that hatches from an egg. In the exhibit they had replaced part of the shell with some clear material so that visitors could actually see it as it was developing in that shell. I secretly thought how cool it would be if we could have a window to see the growing fetus and for reassurance. Sigh, now that I say it, it sounds creepy, but it was cool in that exhibit.

Alexicographer said...

Except for the vomiting, this all seems delightful.

Reproduction is itself so implausible from beginning to end. As a teenager, I left the farm where I kept my horse one day, with assorted friends, and when we came back the pregnant mare who'd been turned out in a field was ... a mom, with a lovely little colt standing beside her. I mean, really? Yes, really.

Emily Erin said...

Glad that you didn't have to do a big 'reveal' at work and that things are just sort of going along. How wonderful but surreal to be on the receiving end of gestures of kindness towards pregnant people. I can.not.wait for Friday for the big gender reveal! So sorry for the sudden and urgent nature of your 'morning' sickness; I hope that it goes away! Sending love & light, you pregnant lady you! :-D

myfertilityjourney said...

I want to see that belly too!!!

Gil said...

I confess, like so many of the others, I too would love to see a photo. So many of us are soooo over the moon for you guys, it's just our way of rejoicing in your pregnancy too and celebrating it with you; having a point of reference to relate to, if you will. But I leave that up to you.

Another confession: I felt like a fraud all through the pregnancy, right through delivery. Now, almost three years later, it feels like a surreal, incredible dream. Like it wasn't really me, you know? Sort of like an out of body experience; I was watching someone go through it. So I truly hope that you enjoy every single moment and cherish each one. Forty weeks will be over in the blink of an eye, girl! Hugs to you and Will.

Lisa said...

I remember feeling like a fraud. It went away after about 20 weeks and then I was blissfully pregnant (and yet still worried at the same time - does that make any sense?)

I hope the vomitting stops and you start to feel the rush of 2T soon!

I'm so excited for you and Will :)

CK said...

Belly pic? It's time!!!

newbie said...

Vomiting and belly getting bigger? I think you are most definitely pregnant, lady! I know what you mean about the gag reflex - the only time I almost throw up is when I'm brushing my teeth!

irrationalexuberance said...

Oh the gag reflex was the worst. I used to throw my arm over my mouth and pretend to cough so that people at work wouldn't hear and guess what was going on. But Yay for being out. Seriously, yay. So happy for you.

Augusta said...

it warms my heart that someone on the subway would notice that you are pregnant and give you his/her seat. That's so kind.
Glad that things continue to go well, vomit and all.

Dora said...

Love that you're looking at your body with wonder. This whole growing an actual PERSON inside your body is freaky and wonderful. I remember the first time I saw my naked belly in a mirror and I really looked pregnant. Absolutely wild. And I totally agree with Mekate about loving my belly for the first and only time. I try to embrace my belly now by reminding myself that it did a wonderful job gestating my daughter. Not always successful.

I also CAN. NOT. WAIT. for Friday's anatomy scan report, and for you to start feeling movement. xoxo

nurslouisa said...

It's a funny moment when you go from feeling fat to really having a baby bump. Savor every minute (except the ones spent pukin)

Roccie said...

You may not name your son Joey now.

peesticksandstones said...

Congrats on getting a seat on the subway! I found it really interesting observing which trains were more likely to have seat-offer-ers on them, especially when I got pretty big toward the end. The E train was always very good to me, but the N/R was the worst.

Of course now, not being pregnant (but very bloated on drugs for new cycle) one of my biggest fears is someone thinking my fatness is pregnancy and offering me a seat. I think my tired ass would still take it though :)

Dani said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dani said...

I remember feeling like a fraud too. :) My best advice is, as soon as you can, try to enjoy every little second of that belly. If this ends up being your only pregnancy you'll regret looking back and thinking all you did was worry,that's how I feel :( But you'll do what is best for you! And when your belly gets too big and you think you'll never recogonize it again, read this. I L.O.V.E it.

http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/176908/The_Beauty_Love_Left_Behind

Heather said...

I remember that feeling in my pregnancies. Even with the twins, I said I wouldn't feel like it was all real until both the boys were home with us.

Dora said...

Tapping foot impatiently. We're waiting for an update, mama!

Anonymous said...

how are you guys doing? i still want to read a post from will, if possible :)

Anonymous said...

Long time lurker, but celebrate if you can. I felt like a fraud too. I didn't experience all the miscarriages you have, just couldn't get pg, when I finally did, I kept thinking someone/thing would take it away. Not every day, but you know, those moments. When she was born not breathing (at first) an almost peace came over me, like aha! I've been telling you! I wish now is just enjoyed it. She's a funny, particularly goofy 5 year old now. Peace on the process.

Emily Erin said...

Um, update, please? Hope that all is well!

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