Thursday, April 26, 2012

A very special OB appointment (13w4d)


I went in for my weekly live baby check yesterday. I knew that a very dear friend of mine was likely to overlap at the OB's office with me. We've known each other since 2005. She is also a psychologist in academic medicine and works at a nearby institution. She is due at the end of May with her first, after IVF. She and I have the same doctor, and she is one of a very few friends who knows we are pregnant.

She and I sat together in the waiting room. And she hugged me and then she just started crying. She said this was the best appointment ever. That she was so thrilled I had gotten pregnant, and so far have stayed pregnant, after everything and after all this time. That it is her strongest wish come true for us to both be pregnant. And here we were. At the same time in the same doctor's office even. When the doctor saw me, she called me back right away, but my friend's appointment was first. My friend said - "Come with!" And we ended up having a joint appointment.

It was amazing to see her enormous belly and watch her ultrasound, see her (huge to me!) baby moving around, us only able to see one baby body part at a time because of the size. She had a cervical check and got advice on what to call the doctor's office about immediately should it occur.

Then I had my ultrasound. This was the first one Will couldn't attend, because he had a meeting that conflicted. And what a gift that my friend was there, holding my hand, oohing and aahing over my little itty bitty baby, who was kicking all over the place and had lots of amniotic fluid, heart beating strongly as ever. (My friend said she thought it looked like a girl. Because she thought it was moving gracefully. Of course, I think, maybe it's a graceful boy!...)




My friend kept saying to the doctor - "Isn't this amazing? Look at her baby! She's been through so much to get here. No one deserves this more than her! Have you ever heard of a story this bad? And now she's pregnant! She's in the second trimester! " The doctor of course (just like you guys) has indeed heard of stories this bad (and even worse). But my friend's generosity - her enormous excitement and enthusiasm on our behalf - well, it was heartwarming.

I think it was good for the doctor to see me with my friend, to see me in a more normal interpersonal context. To see me be relaxed, and warm, and happy. Because usually when she sees me, I'm a bit of a nervous wreck, and I have a ton of anxious questions, and I probably seem very, very serious. (My sense of humor, too, is very dry...and kind of dark...so is kind of hard to read until you get to know me well.) So I think the OB was taking all this in - this new sense of Mo - a Mo who is smiling and hugging and...funny. So that's good. Wouldn't want her to think I'm a dark cloud all the time, because I'm not. I'm just frequently terrified.

My friend and I made appointments for the next two weeks at basically the same time ('cause she's weekly at this point...and I'm neurotic and so being seen weekly)...so unless our spouses are uncomfortable with this setup, it looks like we'll be doing group appointments - or at least waiting room rendezvous - for the next little bit.

Makes me smile just to think about it.

Mo

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74 comments:

  1. What a special appointment today for you! Your friend sounds like a special gift, it is so wonderful you both got to share your glorious appointments with each other!

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  2. Oh, how wonderful to have a friend with you to look forward to during the appointments! And I don't know if that baby looks like a girl or a boy, but s/he sure sounds healthy! So glad all is well and that the appointment was made easier by having someone there to share it with!

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  3. That's great that you got to have your appointment with your friend. =) Loved getting to see that ultrasound picture!

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  4. That's super sweet. I dont know if yall are going to find out the gender, but we were able to at 14 weeks.

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  5. Sniffle. Crying here. So incredibly happy for you. What a lovely experience. xoxo

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  6. So glad you had that experience! What a journey you've been on (certainly one of the longest I've witnessed)--so happy for you!

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  7. So glad you had that experience! What a journey you've been on (certainly one of the longest I've witnessed)--so happy for you!

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  8. What a fantastic experience! Glad you got to experience that Mo.

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  9. Totally made me tear up. Just fantastic. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm just so damned happy for you!

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  10. How awesome and heartwarming to be able to share such intimate moments with someone who shares your awe and appreciation at being pregnant.

    Good for you both.

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  11. YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My first apt at the RE I knew a friend in the waiting room. It was great. I've had a couple of overlapping blood draws/carpools with a couple friends too. No one that would come into an apt with me though. Super special.

    Your updates make my day. I am SOOOO happy for you.

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  12. So awesome, what a gift! And such a supportive friend. I truly am SO happy for you. You've restored some hope for me. Thanks. :)

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  13. I'm so happy for you Mo. If I was at that appointment, I think I would be just as gushing as your friend was! And that Ultrasound pic looks perfect! Happy day for you :)

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  14. Wow second trimester, what a fabulous place to be! You have so many A-M-A-Z-I-N-G things ahead of you and I can't wait to hear about it all. My little one is nearly 2 1/2 now and it just keeps getting better and better every day. So lovely to have a friend to share it with aswell x

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  15. So lovely to have the support of your friend, and to experience a more relaxed, "typical" OB appointment. I'm sorry Will couldn't be there with you, but really glad that you could have a shared appointment with your friend. How special!

    Your updates continue to bring much joy.

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  16. Sounds wonderful! Just curious: will you continue to have such frequent ultrasounds? I wasn't scheduled for any from 12 weeks through 20 weeks, and that was a tough era. (Ended up having one at 17 weeks just because of contractions.)

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  17. Oh Mo...that is sooo awesome that you had your friend with you at your appointment. I went to the same OB as several of my friends and when we were still in the "hiding it" phaze I always had to have the receptionist check the appts for that day for a few of my friends who were pregnant at the same time. Luckily the only one I ran into at the Dr. office already knew so I didn't get "busted" by anyone before I was willing to tell.

    Congrats on your wiggling little bean in there. So very happy for you and Will and looking forward to following you on this great journey!

    Karaleen

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  18. SOOOO happy for you! It was all worked out so that you could have your special friend there with you! I continue to pray for you and your baby!

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  19. How very lovely, so glad your friend was there for you--how normalizing for lack of a better term. So glad things are continuing to go smoothly!

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  20. I am obsessive about checking for daily updates. I just love happy endings and especially for IFers. Hearing about your apt today with a friend also with an IVF baby is just so heartwarming! I don't think I will be able to congratulate you enough! :-)

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  21. Oh, she's beautiful! Your baby and your friend and YOU - the relaxed, funny Mo who actually enjoys and OB appointment.

    Congrats on all three!

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  22. So glad that you got to have someone there with you to share the joy of today's ultrasound... and to see the magic that will be you in late September/early October! So glad that your little one is healthy and happy in there & graceful, 'cause hey, we could all use a little grace in our lives. What a wonderful thing to share with a friend. This makes me grin, and it seems like you're opening yourself up (just a little, which is totally appropriate!) to the joy. So glad that you're where you are and that you have someone special besides just Will to share it with.

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  23. Sounds like it was a great appointment! :-)

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  24. How wonderful to have a friend to share your appt with! Baby looks happy and healthy in there! I am never good at the boy/girl question but I have been calling baby Lance ever since you made the comment about him/her "bicycling" last week so I am going to vote Boy this time :)
    I am keeping you and Will in my thoughts every day and hoping that you start feeling some movements soon to reassure you of baby's good health throughout your day.

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  25. What a wonderful gift!! Your post brought tears to my eyes, Mo. You have so many people rooting for you!

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  26. We were all there too...in spirit!

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  27. That sounds like so much fun. Glad you're both enjoying healthy pregnancies!

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  28. your baby's got a very cute nose! a nose! you've got a baby with a nose in there, mo...

    so elated that you are having these experiences. makes the world a better place, knowing that you are pregnant- it evens-out a lot of the crap going on out there.

    thanks for sharing this special appointment here!

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  29. and it makes me smile reading about it. So, so, so happy for you!!

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  30. That is just awesome and so heartwarming! :D

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  31. Oh Mo!!!! This made me cry!! So so sweet. Awww... I want to hug you both now!! xoxo You so deserve this, I agree with her 1,000%

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  32. After everything, I am so glad that you are able to have some positive and joyful experiences during this pregnancy.

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  33. So pleased things are going well for you and it is great to share this with a good friend. One of my best friends has had losses, and had ivf with genetic testing. She's now 11 weeks pregnant and when I think of both of you it makes me think the world is a good place.

    I think that people who struggle getting pregnant have a different perspective when the babies arrive. People tell me life is going to be so hard with my triplets and yes it's going to be busy but after our journey to get here it just feels like an honour to have them. Xxx

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  34. That's one good looking baby you've got there! And how incredibly lucky is it to have a friend due a few months before you? I can't wait for your babies to have playdates. :)

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  35. It was very moving to read your post about this very special OB appt. I read it yesterday and thought to myself, 'Mo's friend embodies all of us who have followed her. She is all of us, standing beside Mo, rejoicing in this too long awaited pregnancy'
    Really glad all is well with your wee peanut.

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  36. What a great appointment! And a special moment for you and your friend.

    Hoping your pregnancy continues to go well!

    ICLW #74

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  37. This is so awesome! I'm so glad you have such an amazing friend to share in your joy.

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  38. I'm so happy that you got to experience an upbeat reveling in the excitement type of appointment. Your friend really gets it and there is nothing more special than being understood. I gasped when I saw your baby's face. Their FACE; like a real tiny person face. This is really happening. Unbelievably thrilled for you!!

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  39. Awww, that's a lovely story! It's fun to be there with hubby's too but I feel like only women know how to gush openly and warmly. So glad you can share this with her, and I am SO happy for you that things are going so well!

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  40. I am back to read comments and WOW Augusta! So perfectly said and how true.

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  41. Mo, I'm in tears reading this post. So beautiful. What excitement, joy... it's just wonderful. I'm so happy for your two! (Well, 3 now). It's posts like these that give me such hope - I just announced on my blog today that we have a known egg donor and are finally moving forward with treatment this summer. I hate to admit that yes, I figured out a due date should it work (when it works, damnit!) and I'm finally starting to feel like this could actually happen for us. What a wonderful post, and so kind and generous of your friend to share in such a special appointment with you.

    Mazel tov, dear. You deserve it ;) Cheers from ICLW.

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  42. Oh this made me happy. It's so lovely to hear YOU so happy!!

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  43. I'm always in tears by the end of your posts these days. What a lovely experience, I'm so glad you got to have it.

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  44. That is so cool! The image of you and your friend puts such a big smile on my face. I am so glad after such a long, tough journey that the joyful moments are happening for you. You are so deserving of it.

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  45. I'm so glad you had such a happy, wonderful, bleesedly normal appointment.

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  46. oh I love this! congrats Mo. I can't even begin to tell you how happy it makes me to read your posts like this that have so much happiness and hope.

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