Sunday, November 7, 2010
I am safely home. But boy, what a day it has been.
I awoke this morning in the hotel, went to the bathroom, and then all hell broke loose a bit (emotionally for me, at least). TMI to come, so warning to stop reading now if you're squeamish.
As I was finishing up with my first morning pee, I glanced down at my pad and saw a smear of red. No clots. I started freaking. Took off the pad and turned it over to see how much blood was really there. It had saturated to the back of the pad at one small point, but mostly seemed to be more superficial. I began an investigation into where the blood had come from, and came up with nothing. Despite fervent TP wiping, there was nothing but clear white vaginal mucus. Put in the endometrin suppository and the applicator came back clean. Which was weird. I would have thought there would be a bit of red or brown or something if this is where the blood came from. Began to think maybe somehow it was rectal? I am on lovenox, so anything is possible. But all investigation in that area (I'll spare you the details) also turned up negative.
So bleeding, folks, but no idea from where (although I fear I DO know. Sigh). Welcome to Mo's world, the land of the Mystery Spot. Ugh.
On a bright note, despite two flights and lots of airport walking, there has been no more bleeding. I know, because I have been obsessively checking.
I am feeling very uncomfortable, though, on the left side of my abdomen. Uterus is still somewhat crampy, but on the left side am feeling pulling, almost a stabby feeling. Like an implantation feeling, or a (ugh) deplantation feeling.
Besides all that, the day has been uneventful. I've been pretty much horizonal since I got home. And yes, I practically kissed the ground when I got here. It is SO good to be home.
My local RE is out of town until Weds., which is when I have my ultrasound. And I'm sort of between OBs with first appointment for new one not until the day before Thanksgiving. Will is trying to scare someone up to do a scan tomorrow off the record, but I don't know if we'll be able to arrange this.
Not sure what to do about the workweek. I have a fairly important day tomorrow with several things (including patients) I'd have to cancel (and let my team down with) if I don't go in. But on the other hand, if I have a subchorionic hemorrhage (one guess, if the baby hasn't already died), I'm thinking maybe I should be staying pretty still and not going in. Geesh, I don't know. On the other hand, I feel like everyone would tell me that there's nothing that can be done at this point anyway. So maybe I should just go about my day as usual? If I did call off from work, what should I say? (I'll need to be near death to cancel out of one of the events for tomorrow - it's a big deal for our team. so no typical "I'm sick" will cut it, I don't think). What would you do?
And those of you who had a subchorionic hemorrhage, aside from the bleeding, did you have any other symptoms? How was the SCH treated?
Feeling that hope is dwindling over here. Just feeling doomed. Hopefully, I'll be pleasantly surprised. Trying to remind myself that until I am told otherwise, there's a baby in there. A miraculous green pea to blueberry size little creature. Please hang tight in there, little one!
As always, guys, thanks for listening, and for your thoughts.
p.s. In response to a couple of you asking, the co-worker/supervisor who wanted to drink at the conference turned out to be so swamped preparing for her symposium talk that hanging out and drinking wasn't ever an issue. And she never asked if I was pregnant, so I wasn't faced with that, either.
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