Went to the RE, who didn't like what he saw and sent us on to a radiologist who specializes in OB at the hospital.
Just to confirm.
Both saw debris in the gestational sac. No yolk sac. Small subchorionic hemorrhage. No fetal pole, let alone heartbeat. Not sure what to think of Monday's reassurance ultrasound.
Both saw debris in the gestational sac. No yolk sac. Small subchorionic hemorrhage. No fetal pole, let alone heartbeat. Not sure what to think of Monday's reassurance ultrasound.
But it's clear now.
Pregnancy #6 is over.
They are adding me to the OR schedule for today.
Will and I can't believe it. We thought this one might be the one that made it.
Walking between the two doctors' office buildings, I thought, Maybe I haven't woken up yet. Maybe this is a bad dream.
But it's not. It's happening again.
Mo
*****
Update: Surgery rescheduled for tomorrow. I forgot completely that I'm on lovenox and aspirin. My RE wants to wait 24 hours for the lovenox to get out of my system and will fit me in tomorrow afternoon for the procedure.
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338 comments:
1 – 200 of 338 Newer› Newest»I am so sorry. You're both in my thoughts.
Fuck. I am so sorry, Mo. There aren't words. I'm just so sorry. I thought you'd have your happy ending this time. You and Will are in my heart and thoughts.
i am so so sorry.
Actually crying for you over here. I can't beleive it. I thought this was your magic bean. So incredibly sorry.
This is so unfair. I am shocked and so sad for you. There aren't any words that fit. I'm just so sorry. I hope that peace and comfort find you today as you endure what no one should ever have to.
Oh, I am so very sorry. I wish there was some way to ease your pain. You two are in my thoughts.
My heart just dropped into my stomach. Dammit, this is so unfair. There are no words.
I've been a lurker for ages, but just had to tell you how sorry I am for your devastating loss. The shock it is making me feel nauseous, which I am sure is nothing next to what you are feeling. So very, very sorry.
I am so terribly sorry. My heart is with you.
Oh Mo-
I am so very, very sorry. I have been following your story but never commented. I was really pulling for this one you have been through so much. My heart breaks for you.
So sorry to read this. I also thought this would be the one. My thoughts are with you.
Oh, Mo -- I thought this might be it too. I sure hoped it would be. I am so, so sorry. :(
I am so, so, sorry. There are no words. You and Will are in my prayers.
Oh my god Mo, I can't believe this. What an awful shock. I'm so very, very sorry.
Oh no. As soon as I saw the title my heart sank. This is not fair to you or Will.
After trying so long, after hoping so hard, after years of injections and waiting and pain and hurt.
This is not what you deserve.
What a tragic ending to such a promising cycle.
God dammit. Oh Mo, Will... I don't know what to say. I really don't. There are no words, I know. This is sorta coming out of the blue; I honestly thought this was it for you guys. I truly did. My heart, my prayers, my thoughts and my love go out to you both as you endure this most terrible day. Hold onto each other, and know that if some of us could be there, we would be holding onto you too.
Oh my God, Mo. I am so devastated for you and Will. There are no words...this is so unfair. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts. I'm so very sorry.
I'm heartbroken for you. I am just so, so sorry. You and Will are in my thoughts.
I have been following you for a while but don't usually comment. I'm so very sorry. My heart breaks for you and Will.
oh dear, I am terribly sorry.
So so sad. Just not bloody fair.
I'm a lurker who has been rooting for you for a long time. My heart sunk when I saw this post. I'm so, so sorry. Devastated for you. :(
Oh Mo. I'm so so sorry. I can't believe it...I too thought this was it for you. So damn unfair. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Will.
So sorry for your loss. Hugs 2ctt
I am so sorry. Here is a hug (((())) for you and Will. I will keep you in my prayers.
Meemaw
Oh God, what can I say? My heart bleeds for you both. This is so cruel and unfair.
Oh Mo and Will....I don't know what to say. When I saw your post, it felt like a bucket of ice water being dumped over my head. I feel shocked. I was sure this was it. I am so, so sorry.
There are not enough tears for what you have been through.
The only thing that comes to mind is profanity at the moment. I am so sorry. I can't even imagine your pain right now.
I just can't beieve this. Especially after the scan where you saw the h/b. I'm so sorry..and confused and angry that this is happening to you. I have tears in my eyes and my heart for you. I'm so sorry. And "sorry" just doesn't cut it, but it's all I can say. (((hugs)))
I am so sorry. My heart aches for you both and please know that you do not walk through this alone. Many people are thinking of you are praying for you. I know it doesn't make it better....
I am so very very sorry.
damn, damn, double damn.... I HATE that you've joined the '6 losses club'... it's a shitty place to be, I know... I'm so sorry.
I am so sorry. Very deeply sorry. Please know that a whole lot of people are mourning your loss and keeping you in their thoughts and prayers, even though we've not "met" in a conventional sense.
Oh MO, so very sorry. It's just not fair.
Mo---I am in shock right now....This is devestating, cruel, and unfair...I am so very very sorry...You and your hubs are in my prayers:(
I'm so sorry. Praying for you today.
hugs i am so very sorry
What can possibly be said? That I'm deeply, deeply sorry seems woefully insufficient. I am sending you thoughts of strength and peace and, hopefully, clarity.
I am so incredibly sorry! I really thought everything was going to be fine. Oh Mo I'm just so sorry! Please know I am thinking of you both. You are in my heart and my prayers.
My heart is breaking for you. I'm so so sorry.
There's nothing I can say except I am so, so sorry. I'm keeping you in my thoughts today.
There are no possible words. This is just about the most heartbreaking post I've ever read.
I'm am so sorry for your loss. I so thought this was the one. I don't know what else to say - there are no words. You are in my thoughts and in my heart. I'm so sorry.
Here from Gil's blog. I'm so, SO sorry for your loss.
xoxo
Been following you guys almost obsessively...I check your posts first thing every morning... N the hb scan that was snuck in was so uplifting. But this post, This one made me physically ill. I am so very, very sorry.... but please... do not lose hope, and hold to each other. You are going to be a mom. I can feel it.
FUCK! Sitting here in shock. I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could do. This is so incredibly awful and unfair. Please let me know if there's anything at all I can do.
I'm speechless, and sad, and confused. This is only the tiniest fraction of what you are going through, I know. I am so very, very sorry.
Oh Mo. Oh my heart breaks with yours.
I am so very sorry this baby is gone. I am so sorry for your loss.
All my love to you, Will and the baby.
Dammit. Mo, I am so, so sorry.
I am so, so sorry to read this. I've been there and it is just a terrible, terrible place. But, you will get through this. My thoughts are with you and Will.
Mo, I'm sitting with you and Will, in shock, in disbelief, in anger, in devastation, in sadness. I just can't even imagine the torture and pain you're experiencing. All words seem so woefully insufficient now. I'm praying for healing and comfort and peace as you endure what no human being was meant to endure. With love,
-What IF?
WELL CRAP. I'm so sorry for you and will keep you in my prayers :(
What devastating news. My heart is hurting for you and Will. We are crying along with you and all the others who were hoping for good news. Just doesn't seem fair. So sorry!!
Long time reader. And I am just so so so so so so sorry for this news. My heart hurts for you. This just isn't fair.
I know there are no words I can give you to comfort you. Please know that I am heartbroken for you and the unfairness of this all. You are loved and prayed for by many, even those you don't know.
I am so sorry.
No no no no no no no no. Eagerly checked in first thing on the west coast expecting good news, and am just in shock. Only a pale shadow of what you must be feeling. This is horribly horribly unfair, and I will be thinking of you both often in the coming days.
Oh, Mo! I am so very sorry. Sending hugs and a lot of love your way.
So unfair...
I thought this one was going to be the one that made it too. Praying for you both.
Bless your hearts! Im SO sorry :(
Shit. I am just completely sick at this news. I am so very sorry Mo and will. My thoughts are with you both. Really, this isn't fair. :(
So so incredibly sorry, Mo. My first comment, so sad that it has to be this. You and Will are in my heart.
I'm just sick for you. Sorry simply doesn't cover it. Hold each other tight and cry hard if you need to. Sending prayers for healing.
I'm so very sorry! I wish there was something I could do to make it all better....
Oh, no, no, no. I'm so very sorry.
I am so sorry! You and Will are in my thoughts. ((Hugs))
I have been following your story hoping for the very best for you and your husband. I am so very sorry for your loss.
No. No!
Ah, fuck this horribleness. Why can't this just be a goddamn nightmare? Mo, I am so sorry I can't even speak. Thinking of you both, wishing there was something I could do or say to make this even the tiniest bit better. Call if/when you can. Whenever. xo.
Mo, I am so so sorry. I can't believe this has happened. I am the anon who had similar low betas a couple of days ahead of you. It was game over for me a few days ago but seeing your progress had somehow kept me going. I'm now crying for two babies and am furious with the world. I don't know what to say Mo - You are in my thoughts and am praying for you and Will and your little one. Vanesa x
I am so sorry for your loss. I feel kicked in the stomach reading your words. I am so sorry.
I have never ever left a comment on a blog before, but this time I will since I am crying for you behind my laptop right now. I feel so sorry for you and your husband. I hope you will recover from this devastating loss and wish you all the warmth, luck and optimism for the future
My heart aches for you and your DH.
Sooo sooo sad. Lots of hugs. You will be in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.
lurker here .... i am in shock ... my heart aches for you & will. i am so very sorry for ya'll loss.
keep ya'll in my heart, thoughts & prayers.
I'm so, so heartbreakingly sorry for you both. I can't believe it. I know there is nothing anyone can say to make it better, but know we are all thinking of you. De-lurking to let you know I've been pulling for you for a long time now and I was SO hoping this was it for you. Please know you are in our thoughts.
Nonononononononono!!!! I'm so sorry. I'm screaming inside for you. So so sorry.
Hi, I clicked over from Nick and Kristy's blog to tell you how sorry I am. This is so rotten and unfair and nobody deserves it. My heart and thoughts are with you.
I've been lurking for awhile, but I just felt compelled to say how very sorry I am for your loss. You're wonderful people, and I know you'll make it through this pain somehow.
Dear Mo and Will,
I am so sorry. I too, really thought that this was the one for you guys. I am thinking of you both.
Long time lurker here too. I am so so sorry. This seems so unfair and confusing, especially after your reassuring ultrasound on Monday. Thinking of you.
Deepest apologies and much, much love to you both...
FUCK. This fucking sucks.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
I don't know you- never met you- but I've been holding you in my heart and I'm crushed too ... My heart just dropped reading that title and my eyes are filled with tears. . . I'm sorry.
No words can make this right.
Thinking of you. Thinking of you.
NO NO NO NO!!!!
I am so so so sorry.
It just isnt fair!
MLG
I'm so so sorry :(
I am so sorry. Just know that someone you never met is crying for you right now.
Oh god Mo, I'm crying here for you. I don't know what to say. I know the bad dream you cannot wake up from feeling.
You know you will have your baby someday, with the world we live in and the resources we have, its inevitable, its just a question of how much unbelievable torture the universe decides to put you through first.
You are not mourning this baby alone, all of us are with you.
Dear Mo and Will, I was just checking in hoping for the good news of your ultrasound today. I am so sorry. There are no words. I am thinking of you. My deepest sympathies. Karen
Mo, my sincere apologies as you go through this heartbreaking time.
Sending so much love to you both *hugs*
Crying with you
I am just devastated for you. I will keep you both in my thoughts.
So so so sorry. I thought this was it too. :(
I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your husband.
I stop by and read from time to time, but don't think I've ever commented before-- I couldn't click that red x today before telling you both how very sorry I am. I started sobbing as I read your post and can't even imagine the pain you are going through. Thinking of you.
no, no, no! I just can't believe it. I am so sorry. I wish there was a silver lining here, but there isn't. I am thinking of you and hope the d&c isn't too horrible today.
Oh my God.
My heart breaks for you. I'm so so sorry for your devastating loss.
Another de-lurking here. I'm crying at work for you, my heart aches. I'm so sorry. Take care of yourself and Will.
Words can't express how sorry I am. I'll be thinking of you.
I'm so sorry. I know at this point nothing any of us says is going to "fix it" for you. You'll be in my prayers.
I am so sorry, Mo. And so ANGRY that this is happening to you and Will again. Nothing about this is right and I wish there was something, anything I could do to help. For now, please know I am thinking of you and keeping you close to my heart. xoxo
I'm so sorry Mo. I know there are no words...
De-lurking from Illinois to let you know how very, very sad I was to read your post. Went to the computer first thing this morning hoping for good news, and am so, so sorry to read your post. Please know you and Will are in my thoughts and prayers, and judging from the number of comments, many others as well.
De-lurking from Illinois to let you know how very, very sad I was to read your post. Went to the computer first thing this morning hoping for good news, and am so, so sorry to read your post. Please know you and Will are in my thoughts and prayers, and judging from the number of comments, many others as well.
Oh no. Mo and Will, I am so very very sorry. There are just no words to fully capture this. (hugs)
I'm so sorry.
It is unbearable to even attempt to imagine your pain. I am just so sorry.
I am really, really, really sorry to read this. I'm actually incredulous - it's a very bad nightmare for me too.
Big hugs to you and Will - take the time to just be with one another and grieve together
So very sorry for your loss. A stranger's thoughts are with you.
Oh Mo...I'm heartbroken for you an Will. I'm so very sorry.
Mo....I'm just gutted for you. Yesterday my friend lost her baby at 40 weeks and today I just wonder why the world is so cruel sometimes, why there is so much pain and loss. I know there is nothing I can say... Just know that I am so so sorry.
Each day I spend a lot of time reading posts from BLM. I try really hard to be strong but today your news has shattered me. I am crying so deep inside of my soul.
I am so sorry for your loss. Please if you could email me I would love to send you a handkerchief from For Your Tears.
dpucci9972@gmail.com
((HUGS)) Please know that I care and I am praying for your comfort and strength.
Oh my God...no.
Fuck, I hate the world.
I'm so sorry.
Oh Mo - I can't believe it. I'm so, so sorry. Just so so sorry.
I am so so so sorry.
I am so so sorry. I hope you two find a way through this. This should really not be happening. Best wishes, you are in my thoughts.
So so sorry. Sending you as many healing thoughts and vibes as I can.
I'm so terribly sorry. My heart is hurting for you both and I'll continue to keep you in my thoughts.
Oh my god. I am so sorry, Mo and Will.
I am so so sorry, you are in my thoughts.
Dear Mo and Will, I'm so so sorry for this continued heartbreak. Praying for you and sending you hugs.
I'm so sorry Mo - I'm thinking of you today...take care. Hugs
Delurking here to say I'm so so sorry. How devastating. I too am crying for you. No one deserves this.
I am so sorry for you all. You are in my thoughts.
My heart goes out to you all. I so wish I wasn't reading this news. Damn it, it just isn't FAIR.
Oh, no. I am so, so sorry.
Shit. I am so sorry.
I, like so many others, have been following your story from the shadows. I'm shocked and saddened by this unexpected turn of events. May you and Will find comfort in each other as you weather this incredible storm. My heart is with you both!
Mo and Will,
I am so sorry, it is not fair. You are in my prayers. Lynne
This is too, too cruel. I am devastated for you both. This is not the end of the road for you but this pregnancy should not have ended this way. My heart goes out to yours xoxoxo elliej
I am so incredibly sorry. You and Will are in my thoughts and prayers. I can't imagine how you're feeling right now ... this is horrible and so incredibly unfair. I am so sorry, Mo.
This sucks so hard. I'm so so sorry. It's completely and totally unfair. My thoughts are with you and Will as you go through this painful time. Kristina
I am sooooo sorry... I was thinking that this was it for you guys. After all you had gone through... I can't believe it's happening again. Hugs...
This is devastating ....I pray you find comfort and strength in eachother.
I am a long time reader never commenter who is de-lurking to tell you how very sorry I am. I cannot imagine what you are going through......You will be in my prayers
Oh, no! I'm so very sorry for both you and Will. This is horrendous! I am thinking of both of you today. *hugs*
I am so sorry. What a horrible day for you.
Mo & Will, my heart is breaking for you two...shattered. This is beyond a kick in the teeth. Thinking of you two as you walk through grief yet again.
Oh I'm just heartbroken for you. What a cruel turn of events. Hold each other close. Thinking of you both.
So very, very sorry - it's so unfair - praying and praying for both of you.
Stunned and so sad for you both. This is horrible, and I hope that you are surrounded by loving and supportive people who can let you yell and scream without trying to fix anything. Thinking about you.
Oh Mo. I am so so sorry. This is just so awful and I don't know what else to say.
Thinking of you.
My heart is hurting for you and Will. I'm so very sorry.
Allison
Dear Love,
I'm so sorry for the loss that you and Will have experienced. I know it never gets easier. You're both in my thoughts and prayers.
- Jen
Mo & Will,
There are no words for how sad and how very sorry I am to hear about the loss of your little babe. My thoughts are with you guys and sending bug virtual hugs your way.
xo
So sorry, angry, pissed, heartbroken. I so wish this was going to be it for you. I'm sorry.
Mo - can't tell you how sorry I am. There are no words for this. I'm praying for you and Will. Take comfort in each other.
Mo,
Oh noooo! That was all I could think when I read your post today.
Delurking to say that I am so very sorry for your loss. You and Will have been through so much and I was sure that this would be your take home baby.
Know that someone in Texas is thinking of you guys today...
Jennifer LD
I am delurking to tell you how sorry I am that this has happened to you. I can't imagine how awful this is for you both. Know that someone in Ireland is thinking of you.....
sorry doesn't seem adequate, but fucking hell, i am so very sorry. thoughts and prayers for you both.
I am SO sorry. There aren't words to make it better, but I am sending you a huge hug and am thinking of you and Will.
Fuck. Sending you thoughts of sanity in the aftermath. Fuck.
-Sue
Another comment echoing what others have said. So sorry, can't believe it, not sure what to say. I've started to write something and erased it several times, doubtful that it's possible to say anything that could actually help. Wishing you better days coming, and do whatever you need to do to get through this difficult time.
Oh no. I am so sorry. I can't even come up with words. WTF? This is so so painful and I'm sorry you have to go through it. again. Hugs.
fuck fuck fuck!
(((((((((HUGS))))))))))
Delurking to say that I am so sorry. I have been following you and Will for awhile now.
Peace,
Michelle
I really am so very sorry to read this. I cannot even begin to imagine all that you and Will must be feeling at the moment. Holding you in my thoughts.
I've never met you but I'm crying for you. I'm so sorry. This is just horrible news. I hate you infertility!
I am so sorry. I wish we each (the hundreds and maybe thousands of us who root for you every day) could take a little piece of this grief off of your shoulders to help you climb out from under this heavy burden. We'll all stay right here with you as long as you need us. Wish I had better words to send you.
Oh, God. I'm so very sorry, and I know that's nowhere near enough, I know there are no words.
Hoping there are some answers for you in the very near future, wishing you peace and strength.
I am stunned. This completely sucks. I can't believe that things changed for you so fast for the worst.
So sorry that you and Will can't catch a break. My thoughts are with you two.
My heart is so heavy and sad. I can't even imagine what you must be feeling. I am so so sorry. I know there are no words to help. Just know there are many, many of us thinking and praying for you.
Oh no no no. I can't believe it. This is so unbelievably unfair. I'm so very sorry.
I do not have the words to express my sorrow and anguish for you guys. This really sucks. Really really sucks. My prayers and thoughts are with you.
I am soooo sorry to hear this.
oh Mo. This is cruel beyond words. I am so very sorry.
xxxx
Here from Sprogblogger to say how sorry I am.
My heart truly goes out to you and your husband today. I am so, so unbelievably sorry for your loss. Saying many prayers for you. xo
fuck.....FUCK....Apart from adding to the huge volume of people here to just say I am thinking of you guys, (and crying at work isnt a good look) and I am sorry.I can't believe this. I really can't.
Mister IVF / Inbetween
I am so devastated to read this. My heart goes out to you.
Mo, please, please, please know that you did everything in your power for little #6. The fucking depot lupron, the diet, the supplements, the lovenox, etc. You did NOTHING WRONG. Thinking of you so much and sending lots of love to you both. xoxo
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I'm delurking to say I am devastated about this!!! I've been following your story about a year now and this post has brought me yelling and screaming and crying at the sky-daddy. Why oh why?! You must be so heart broken.
This is so unfair. You deserve better than this.
Mo, saying I'm sorry once may just not be enough, I can't stop thinking about you and Will.
One loss, or 6 losses, the grief is still as sharp, just as horrible in the first few hours. I remember the evening I discovered I had lost my baby, people kept calling me and other than two people (my mom and my best friend) I could not take anybody's calls. And talking to those two people helped, just a little bit
I know you have Will (and Moxie), and others, and I pray they are helping you just a little bit.
Another lurker here. I'm so sorry to read this today. I have followed your story and so hoped this would work out for you. My heart goes out to you and your husband, it is really not fair....
Oh I am so sorry. This is absolute shit.
I'm so sorry for you both, this is just too hard to bear. I have been following anxiously through your struggles and really cannot understand how this can keep happening.
This sucks. I am so sorry.
KL
I'm so so sorry. I had so much hope for you.
My heart just broke into a million pieces for you. I was really hoping this was your sticky one. Please don't give up the fight. It took me 7 years to get 1 to stay put and I really think you'll get the rainbow you deserve. I just wish that rainbow was NOW damn it.
one more lurker coming to say how very sorry I am for you and Will. My heart is breaking for you and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
oh, no. I am so very sorry.
Words don't suffice. You both are so much in so very many people's thoughts.
I am so very sorry and heartbroken for you. I seriously can't even imagine the pain you must feel. I sincerely hope nothing but the best for you and you husband, you certainly deserve it. My thoughts are definitely with you!
Mo I am heartbroken for you. I'll go back to my lurking but I just wanted to give you a virtual hug and tell you how sorry I was for you loss.
So sorry to hear this. It just sucks. I am sending you my prayers and best wishes. Dee
i am so sorry. i wish you could be transported into the future, away from the pain of today. it is so unfair when life, so full of ups and downs, gives you so many downs in a row. there will be ups again, and until then, please know you are loved and cared for by so many.
HUGE **hugs** I am so very sorry & wish there was more that I could do then only say those words. You both will be in my thoughts.
No...please no....
This is what must be running through all of our minds today. Not this. Not now. Not to Mo and Will. Please no.
I am so so sorry.
Oh Mo, I'm so, so sad for you and Will. My heart feels very heavy for your loss and all you've been through.
Nothing anyone can say will help right now, but I am SO SORRY! My heart breaks for you both.
I am so very sorry. This totally and utterly sucks. Keeping you both in my thoughts.
Delurking to say FUCK. I'm so sorry.
Devestating. I am sorry.
Words are not nearly enough, this happening to you again makes me question God, what is wrong with the world. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Sending many healing & comforting thoughts to you and will.
Oh Mo, I have no words. I am so sorry. It hurst like he11 right now, but I can tell you from experience that it will get easier. it just takes time. I am thinking of you. This just isn't fair!
Oh, I am so very sorry. My heart goes out to you, as I have recently gone through a similar experience. I hope you are able to find some peace in the coming days. Take care of yourself.
Another long term lurker so sad to read your news. I am sorry Mo and Will.
I don't know what to say...thinking of you and very sorry for your loss. Life is brutal sometimes.
Ohmyfuckinggod. I cannot believe that this happened Mo!!!! :-((( I don't know what to say and I am sure as hell baffled by your last ultrasound results as well. How things could change so damned fast? This just sucks.
A huge heartfelt hug over the airwaves.
Hon, I know no words can help. You're both in my thoughts and prayers. I'll never get why shit happens to the nicest people.
Adding to the chorus of delurkers who want to express our deep sympathy. It's far too much for one couple to go through.
Oh Mo and Will. This is unbelievable, and I am so incredibly sorry.
speechless. i'm so very sorry for your loss. :(
Oh Mo and Will,
Sorry just doesn't seem to be a big enough word. Is there one? I keep checking in, in case they discovered there was a mistake and I just don't want to believe there wasn't one.
I will be thinking of you so much.
xo
Brid
Mo, I am so sorry.
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