Sunday, May 31, 2009

Sundays of grace #15

1. Despite everything, Will and I are in a good space together, which sometimes I think is amazing. We have worked hard to make sure the stress of all that we are going through does not harm our relationship. Through lots of hard work and attention, we are remaining firmly connected to each other even through this latest sorrow. I am so very grateful for this.

2. I wouldn't choose it, and I wouldn't wish it on anybody, but since it is happening anyway, I am grateful that we lost this pregnancy so early, rather than getting farther along, more hopeful, and more invested emotionally. Physically and emotionally it is easier - not easy, but easier - to miscarry at this early stage rather than weeks from now.

3. Although we lost this pregnancy and we are grieving deeply, I am grateful that we were able to experience being pregnant, even for a few days. Because the last three cycles have resulted in negatives, I had begun to wonder if we would ever be pregnant again. Of course, the goal isn't to just be pregnant, it's to stay pregnant and have a child, but even our few days of pregnancy gave us some hope that maybe we're getting even a tiny bit closer to our goal of having a family.

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24 comments:

nutmeg96 said...

I know how hard it is to stay positive in the face of such continued disappointments. Thinking of you both...

MissMVK said...

Amazed as always at your grace and fortitude. Many hugs.

Dora said...

You sound good, Mo. Not great, that would be illogical. But it's good to hear you sounding so solid and strong. Been thinking of you all week. Big hug!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

Well, you two as a couple came first, and will hopefully be there in the end.

That's worth taking care of.

Other than that, I can't even imagine the grief.

Good Egg Hunting said...

I, too, am always amazed at your grace and strength, no matter what happens. I am so happy for the two of you that you have each other, and only hope that this was indeed a good sign and that the next one sticks around. Thinking of you and sending lots of positive vibes your way.

Megan said...

I'm sure it was a struggle to find the silver lining for today's post, but you did. Thinking of you both.

Michelle said...

I am glad that through it all you can still find things to be thankful. You are a strong woman! ((HUGS))

mekate said...

Thinking of you and impressed as hell at your amazing resilience and attitude. So very glad you and Will have each other. Warmly,
Kate

Phoebe said...

It takes a lot to find gratitude in such a difficult situation. You might appreciate my latest post on grief and IF. I'm there with you in the grief. Hugs.

Duck said...

It is hard to find that glimer of good in all this bad, and I am glad that you are finding strength in each other.

Duck said...

It is hard to find that glimer of good in all this bad, and I am glad that you are finding strength in each other.

Bella said...

So impressed by both of your strength and resiliance. hang in there...you ARE getting closer to your family!

elliej said...

Thinking of you Mo and Will and wishing you both all the grace in the world xxx

DAVs said...

I'm always amazed (if I do say so myself) at how connected Lee and I have remained through this hell we're going through. So let's pat each other on the back for that! :)
I'm also glad that you did, at least for a few precious days, have that joy of a positive test. You are getting closer, I just know.

s.e. said...

You are so amazingly strong. Keep focusing on all the little silver linings. You will get through this.

Thinking of you both...

My Endo Journey said...

Always love your grace posts!

Mimi said...

I know this is so hard for you but your post is so inspiring..... You and Will are in my thoughts and prayers, always!

Hugs,
Kami

musicmakermomma said...

Glad you have each other and a strong relationship. I feel awful for you - but I agree about it being somewhat easier to lose the pg now than later. I am praying if my cycle doesn't work this time it will just be a bfn.

I think it is huge that you were able to become pg, hopefully there will be good information for your next try when you're ready.

TXmom said...

I have been reading your blog for a while now but never commented. I am so sorry for this most recent loss and the others. You are a strong woman and a strong couple. You will weather this storm and your outlook/perspective implies that your outcome is going to be good...as you will find the goodness in it. I recently suffered a tough loss at 15 weeks and I, too, was thankful that it wasn't later. That graciousness has helped the road of grief tremendously...it is hard to see the good but if you are able, it is a wonderful aid in the process. Be well and hold your hopes and positive energy high.

Cheryl said...

Will & Mo:

I just wanted to say that I am thinking of you guys.

Cheryl

birdsandsquirrels said...

I'm so glad that you and Will are staying connected through all of this. I'm thinking of you guys.

Clio said...

Mo and Will, I am very sorry for your loss.
((hugs))
glad to hear that you two are navigating these muddy waters together, and that despite all the difficulties you are able to keep connected.

Erica said...

I have no words, Mo. Please know you are in my thoughts and heart.

pumpkinseed said...

Your positive attitude yet acknowledgment of the pain of disappointment gives strength to those that need it.

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