Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Cycle delayed


We heard from the RE's office today that they are booked solid this month for endometrial co-culture biopsy slots. Ugh. We were told to call on day 1 of my next cycle to "see if we can get on the list for next month."

The bottom line is we will be delayed a month in starting IVF #4.

I took this harder than I thought I would. I didn't realize how much I was clinging to the hope of cycling again soon to help cushion the blow of my disappointment over our last failed cycle.

Adding to it all, I have been having hot flashes since Dec. 26th. Several times a night. Which is screwing with my sleep quality and filling me with doom and gloom thoughts of perimenopause. The fact that Thursday is my 37th birthday is NOT helping (Fear is that 37 + history of chemotherapy = the end of the egg supply).

Anybody else ever have hot flashes after IVF? I've had them on Lupron - but I'm not on any drugs now. Every time I have a hot flash, I panic a little that this is it. The beginning of the end of my fertility (not that I was so fertile before, but you know).

Holding on to sanity by a thread over here. Words of wisdom very welcomed.

Mo

33 comments:

Michelle said...

I have no words of wisdom...sorry. But I am sending you all good thoughts and lots of hugs. Hang in there.

Nikki said...

No words of wisdom Mo. But I do have hot flashes when I'm on some of the medications. Maybe it's just the hormones leaving your body?

And sorry about having to wait another month. I know how bad that sucks! Isn't it awful how so much of the struggle with infertility is spent just waiting?

Hang in there - hugs to you!

(And if it helps, I'm turning 38 in March :-( so you have one more year to catch up!)

Melanie said...

Yes, a thousand times yes. Hot flashes to the point of insanity and always at night. I would blame IVF drugs, at least I did (and do for anything that pisses me off actually).

I hate that you can't cycle now. There is a certain comfort to the pattern of IVF (boy does that sound screwed up) in that you're actively pursuing something. The routine is even comfortable in a way because there's hope in each step, each scan, each shot. I'm sure you feel like you're treading water now, which gives one way, way too much time to think.

I'm thinking of you, sending you good thoughts. Sending evil, torching thoughts to your silly RE who should boot out the 20 something and let her wait for her next cycle. (IVF has not taught me kindness)

April said...

Arg. I did have hot flashes after my ivf cycle, but i attributed it to the PIO then to the fact that the weather was crazy, then to my office temp....who knows. I've been having hot flashes now, too. I think that sometimes going through IF makes us much more in tune with our bodies. A brief hot flash that other people may not notice actually sends us into a day/week/whatever of perseveration!!! Hang in there.

...also, I think that this is time when Will (and you) can call in some favors. Being in medicine does have perks from time to time. It doesn't seem like you should have to keep waiting.

*hugs*

Megan said...

I'm sorry for the wait. I know how disappointing that can be. Hang in there.

Lisa said...

Hey Mo - no words of wisdom either but yes, I did get hot flashes after both of my IVFs...weird - they were on and off for about two weeks - at work I would always be like, shit - is anyone else burning up?

That sucks that you have to wait - I have not heard of being too full...but sometimes a forced break is helpful. Also, I have heard that success after back to back cycles is lower - cannot remember where.

Anonymous said...

Hi Mo-
I recently found and am really enjoying your blog. I am 35, lesbian, ttc for 15+ months, 1 failed IVF and a recent "indolent" leukemia diagnosis. And I had mad hot flashes for 1.5 weeks after stopping progesterone!! Thank-you for keeping me entertained. S

Duck said...

yup I've had hot flashes and not menopausal ( I googled and hot flashes are caused by a flux in estrogen, or a perceived flush in estrogen)...oh and I had them in my early 20's.

Mo and Will said...

Hey S,

Hope you'll see this - since you're anonymous, I can't reply to you any other way. Sorry to hear about your recent cancer diagnosis. (I'm guessing CLL?) That's a lot on your plate on top of trying to conceive. If there's any way that I can be of help, please let me know. You might enjoy Erin Zammett's blog (linked on the LH side of my blog as "Life with Cancer"). She has CML - and has since she was 23 - and is doing great on Gleevac, gosh for years now. Even stopped it for awhile to have a son and then started it again.

One of my dearest friends and her female partner conceived via donor sperm after IVF at age 43! She's in the hospital now and will be 30 weeks tomorrow - I blogged about her a few posts ago.

Thanks for the reasurance about the hot flashes (I stopped PIO on Dec. 26th so maybe that is it) and thanks for stopping by!

Mo

bunny said...

i definitely had hot flashes with my two fresh cycles, but not with the frozen. a few nights, i even changed my t-shirt in the middle of the night!

i am so sorry you are on delay. when people suggest to me to take a break, i cringe. i always want to keep my momentum going.

can you make the most of the month and get in a little trip or some other fun diversion?

Clio said...

Hi Mo,
I also had hot flashes with the progesterone and still had a few even after I stopped the medication.
I also had hot flashes on and off at night two years ago for a while. Chinese medicine explains it by something, but I don't remember what, and it was part of my diagnose of a 'weak kidney'i think. But the funny thing is that I started having these hot flashes after a period of acupuncture treatments for my overall energy. so maybe yours can be a result of the meds plus the acupuncture you were doing?
It totally sucks that they are delaying you! I remember you were so excited to be cycling so soon.
What a bummer. anyway, I hope you can make the best of your time waiting. Don't concentrate on the age and time passing. it seems that every time I concentrate on something it feels so much worse.
(hug)

Mimi said...

Mo,

I am new to your blog. I am so sorry you have to wait another month. I will be starting my birth control pills at the beginning of February. My IVF will hopefully be in March. Good luck to you!!

Virginia said...

I haven't experienced that. of course it would be scary, but I have to think that your IVF#4 getting delayed is good thing? Let those hormones get back to normal. Big hugs to you, I know you're feeling crappy all over. It will pass.

Good Egg Hunting said...

I think these drugs get our systems all charged up and it takes a while for everything to settle down. I'm so sorry you're going through that, and had this disappointment to boot. I know how hard it is to wait -- it's that feeling of having this huge desire to move toward your goal but being unable to take action that's so difficult. Thinking of you.

I Believe in Miracles said...

Oh Mo, I'm so sorry. Bummer.
I'm hoping its just the hormones. I've been having huge hot flashes lately too. We can be hot flash buddies. I freeze going to bed, but inevitably wake up hot as can be, then I wake up cold. Vicious cycle. Hopefully it won't last long for both of us!
~~HUGS~~

Phoebe said...

Yes, I had hot flashes after IVF. I had hot flashes before IVF. I think it is good news that you will have to wait, even though I know emotionally it is hard hard hard. When your ovaries are super stimulated, they need a rest to produce more quality eggs. I was forced to wait three cycles after my first IVF was converted to a failed IUI before I could cycle again. Emotionally, it was hard, but I think physically, it was the best thing for me.

Please, get a copy of "The Infertility Cure" by Randine Lewis and read what she says about "eggs do not have an expiration date". I read this after I was told donor eggs was my only option. I got my FSH down after starting Chinese medicine and was able to use my own eggs for IVF. You need to have faith in your eggs. There are things you can do to improve your egg quality. It takes 3-5 months to form a follicle, so if you are game, wait another 3 cycles before doing IVF again and work hard on your egg quality! Acupuncture, DHEA, exercise, high quality diet (no sugar, wheat, or caffeine), get enough sleep, and meditation! I think all these things will work in your favor. Hugs!

Dora said...

Oh, sweetie! That sucks! I totally understand how these setbacks hit like a ton of bricks. Who would imagine that we'd look forward to injections, because it's better than doing nothing. Waiting suuuuuuucks! And all for the privilege of scraping your uterus.

No wisdom on the hot flashes, but I can offer tequila.

GreenEggsNHam said...

Sorry, no words of wisdom here, just someone to listen. I'm always thinking and praying for you and Will.

Geohde said...

Perhaps the hot flashes are just hormonal surges as your body gets itself back into gear after all the suppression for the IVF? I can understand your fears, however.

I get/got them even coming off the pill after six months of impressively oversuppressed amenorrhoea!

J

Jill said...

No words of wisdom here, but just wanted to say that I am sorry you are delayed. That stinks. Hopefully the hot flashes will go away soon when your body has returned to a more normal state without IF hormones. I'll be thinking of you!

Ms Heathen said...

I'm afraid I've no words of wisdom with regard to the hot flashes, but just wanted to say how sorry I am that you're not able to cycle this month - the delay must be very frustrating for you.

minus one said...

I'm sorry about your delayed cycle, it seems like every month is precious as we get older. I'm 40 and have been having hot flashes at night for a while now, both on and off meds. It is certainly worse during a cycle. I'm making my DH crazy with the temperature of our bedroom and the covers being flung on and off throughout the night. I'm also worried about being perimenopausal, but all my lab work and whatnot seems to be reasurring. Good luck to you!

Emily said...

I am so sorry. It is so hard when things do not go as planned.

I have no idea what the hot flashes are about...

Wishing you a very happy birthday and a year of health, happiness and many blessings!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

delays/postponements are always dreadfully frustrating.

Hope the time passes quickly for you.

sarah said...

I got no help for you on the HF's--Taht has got to be distressing!
My husband suggested delaying our next cycle so I could take more DHEA,and I sort of flipped out. It is suprising how closely you are holding a cycle. One bright side, we'll get to be cycle buddies of a sort. My 4th and final with my eggs is mid Feb.
Argh.

Brenda said...

Mo and Will, I hate that you have to wait. And I have been having hot flashed for no apparent reason since I was in my mid 20's. I really hate them when I get them at night. I wake up freezing in a pool of sweat. Yuck.

Take care.

Sara said...

I am so sorry you have to wait. That seems to be the ONLY constant in this infertility process.


Just wanted to let you know that I had hot flashes repeatedly for about a month after my failed IVF cycle. Don't know why, and my most recent bloodwork shows that everything is still the same. It's really probably a case of stress getting to you.

Elle said...

Ugh, so sorry that you have to wait. I second the suggestion to make sure you schedule something fun for this month -- something that you couldn't do if you were cycling.

As for hot flashes, I've had them before my period for years. Seriously, since probably my mid-twenties. I wouldn't read too much into it.

Hugs to you both.

poppy.f.seed said...

Hi!
Waiting sucks. Even a month(when you are ready) sucks.
Could you have ovulated and your body just is dealing with extra progesterone? I was quite toasty(almost too much) this past post-ovulation cycle.

And, I am turning 37 in 11 days(and starting IVf/icsi 2 soon), I totally sympathize..

Kate said...

Hi Mo,
First, Happy Birthday!

Second, I had hot flashes for a month or two after clomid. And since I am older (eh hem) I worried it was the beginning of the end too-- but it was just residual fuckedupedness.

Third- I am so so sorry about your cycle delay. How frustrating to have it be due to any reason at all, but for such a bureaucratic reason? (scheduling!)--gah.

And I wish your friend every bit of luck in the next few days, 30 weeks is great, I was wondering if she had made it.

As for you, I wish you peace in this in-between time however you may find it. I vote for brownies.

birdsandsquirrels said...

I'm so sorry about the delay. I completely understand wanting to cycle right away. That is so, so disappointing.

jodie38 said...

I have problems with (functional?) cysts, so I have hot flashes EVERYWHERE. Doesn't matter which type of cycle I'm in the time, or where I am in the cycle. IVF, IUI, no intervention at all or day 4. I flash. I'm so efficient, I don't think I even need the cysts anymore to flash. I'm just that good.

I'm sorry about the delay - U hear you, it sucks, sucks, sucks. Hang in there, sweetie.

Michelle said...

I am just catching up on blogs and reading your post. I am sure you know this but a quick blood test to test your FSH levels can tell you where you are at (or give you a good sense) with menopause/perimenopause. I have the stinkin' luck myself to hit the start of menopause this year at 37...with the meds you are on Nikki (a previous commenter) might be right it could just be those hormones. Keep us posted.

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