We received word this morning that the gang of eight are not looking strong enough to make it to Day 5, so we are going to transfer in a couple of hours.
Our RE said that three of the embryos are looking better than the others and will be transferred.
We had a lot of back and forth about whether to put back 3 or 4, but ultimately, the RE felt (and convinced Will and I) that our chances of pregnancy wouldn't be improved that much (he said only by 3%) by a 4-embryo transfer, while we would have a much increased chance of triplets of quads (18% chance of triplets with four put back, 2.5% chance of quads).
We are trying to be optimistic. I have to admit I'm not feeling so great. Had wanted to make it to a Day 5 transfer, so this news that we need to transfer today really throws me.
Will and I are both desperately hoping that we don't end up again in Pregnancy In-Between Land as we have the last three pregnancies (pregnant but with non-viable embryos/fetuses).
Now that we're at the transfer stage, all the old emotions of loss are welling up. We're both trying to focus on the positive, but it is tough because this pregnancy thing has just never gone in a positive direction for us. It's strange to be feeling this way, I keep thinking I should be elated. Instead we are hopeful but chastened. Cautiously optimistic but terrified.
So in two hours, we will screw up our courage, focus on the chance that this could actually work out, and head back to the IVF suite at the hospital.
Words from DH
23 hours ago